articles, categorized, Daily thoughts, LIFE, LOVE, short stories

Mid-Night Tale.


rainandcoffee

It’s 2:36am, on my lappy and I am not feeling any pint of sleep in my eyes. It’s raining heavily outside. I just went to the window to glance the most romantic atmosphere spreading cosy and lazy environment. And I am awake. This happens on occasions now a days. Daily insomnia is been replaced by seasonal once. I am wide awake with all our random thoughts travelling across my mind, I smile. Many such tales are hidden and forgotten but lived at such mid-nights.

My heart feels you around, it’s beats fast and loud so you can hear, how it is missing you. I never deny sharing my emotions. Let it be through poems, thoughts or any random comments or statements, you are always on my mind.
It’s been a year when I turned symptomatically insane for your love and you ignore. Even today, you ignore. You are not changed at all. I like it. You know what but I am a new version of my own creation, I love you still. I miss you like I did years back and do everyday. But now since you aren’t any more present in my life, since you have moved away, I can’t and don’t want to bring you back into my world. just a hope one day you’ll return. I don’t cry now. I don’t get depressed.
Fingers crossed!!!
You know life is changed, I think of loving again. But can love happen by thinking or mere ask the brain tissues to fall in love again? I don’t think it happens. It’s not happening with me at least. I try because I am unsure about your arrival. I keep going because I am in mislead about your thoughts. I seriously wanna know what you feel afters years of ignorance? Do you already have moved on in life? Have you forgotten the craziest things we did? Have you been capable of erasing all the memories we shared? Have you achieved in your goals to vanish me forever from your life? OR do you still in love with me?

And if you do, why aren’t you showing it?
or if don’t, why can’t I see you moving on in life?
It’s you who had asked me to smile each time we cross after our break-up. I do smile when I see you. But do you do that?
Where are you? In which phase of life are you living? In which transaction are you stuck-up?
If you have, show me so I can try harder this time to love again or at least appreciated the one’s who prove to love me. And if haven’t than let me know, so I can wait for you till infinite…Yaah!!! I can do that. Only if you tell me to wait.

So just thinking if you have read our love story which I had emailed you, is now on the verge to be a book. And if you went through it, you might have noticed that their is no end to it. Last few chapters are just left blank and empty. because this is how I feel our end was. No end to our love story.??? So, what should I do, manipulate a happy end to it and start with publishing stuffs or should I wait for the end to happen happy in a real sense?
Because people say “If it’s not happy at the end, it’s not the end, nature has still few more chapters to add”
So what should I do? Write something which is not real or wait or write the new personality who proves to love me with acceptance of my past and present scenario because that person is ready to wait but have a deadline since he don’t wanna end up being one of my kind. My streets are waiting for you. Will you arrive any day, someday??? I am really confused!!!

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Maybe I am being selfish asking you to return so my book can have a happy ending. But this is the way I still love you. This is the way I still image you and me hugging each other in rain at my hostel gate where you waited for me to come back from college, so you can grab me in your rugged arm, place me against your stoned heart and say, “Baby I love you and can’t move on in my life without you” and than we live together and forever like in all love stories do.
But you know what at the end, it only you whom I can love again.

Sometimes it’s good to express rather than waste each moment living in confusion and questions. I could have mailed you this but you wouldn’t have replied and left ignored. It still hurts when you leave things unanswered like you did years back. But this is the way I feel for you. I visualize you and me walking in rain pouring outside. This is the way I think about you. I am being true. This is the way I love you. This is the way I am in love with you again.

point-of-view

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categorized, FRIENDS, LIFE, THOUGHTS

1/4th of my professional learning.


It’s around 2 pm, no lectures still decided. Still there prevails a huge suspense of where and who’s taking our next lecture. Each and everyone busy with the leisure time in anticipating plenty of important works like few group of girls discussing the latest gossips they might have came across, few girls playing Antakshari and singing all aloud together, few of them posing for their best ever click on the white dust wall as their background. From the sight of the door in the corridor, outside the class room, the only group of boys playing football and their dashes and kicks can be felt in the class within.

The weather was damp as it raining outside and spreading a chilled atmosphere inside. The breeze flying from one rusted wide window across the others gushing the rain water in. I stood near the window silently observing each one of them. Smiling and capturing each and every moment in my eyes so that it stays forever. I knew it’s not permanent, as nothing stays permanent. “Change is the law of nature”, as we all know. Still we all were busy collecting all the memories we can, so that it can be remembered off, laugh out and can be cherished later.

Many things have been changed. Friends changed. Friendships changed. Groups got separated and new group was formed. New friends were made. New liking and new thoughts rose. Many words changed its meaning with time. I was totally engulfed by the changing environment and nature of the peoples. From home to hostel, from family to hostel mates, from the home town to the place still unknown to me. And you know what; “I was totally unaware of the impact of these changes on me…like they were also changing me. Changes were for good or bad, still not known by me. Only one thing I recognized, these changes made me grow independent.”

That day passed and along with it many moments too. Happy moments, sad instants, there were moments when I learnt, there were moments which made me go still, few moments just got transferred in my long term memory and few were just ignored off.

 

The senior’s fear,                                                                                                  

It all made our friendship dear,

Laughter’s were shared,

Then we turned one… we were no more scared.

Fresher’s day or let it be the friendship day,

The enjoyment we gained, will never fray.

Trips anxiety and the fest weekdays funs,

All those days gone and will never come.

Memories that we made,

I know each one will never let it fade.

Helping,

Supporting,

Encouraging… each other when needed,

May their be issues many or their be grouping,

 The bond shared amongst us will never be drooping.

 

The year of enjoyment and fun ended with upcoming modules and exams. All started preparing with a swift gesture and here the competition began. The competition was not for good grades but indeed it was for the survival in the first year. One by one each module ended and with it the preliminary exam. Before the finals could set in, few friends just got left out in the race to succeed the first step. This time all were tensed, anxious and worried. They were tensed about themselves, they were anxious about their marks and they were worried about their friends too. These were the same classmate, few months ago, were happy, tension free and had no fear to be left out. But these exams are a part of our life’s exam. We had to step ahead leaving few behind. If you are pushed back than it’s only because your place is giving to someone else who is more capable for it. Here, each term is a competition, if you are the best and you survive. You struggle, you achieve. And if along with it, luck is in your fate… than no one can beat you to be ahead.

 

After few months of struggle, finally results were out. It was around 11pm, I was at home lying down chatting on What’s app and a ring. I opened the group, there is an image. As it got downloaded, it stated, “Candidate having seat number mentioned course wise who appeared in the BPTH(part 1) examination under this university held in july,2013 are hereby passed.”

“Ohh God…!!!! Please Please save me.”, was the only thing my lips said and my eyes moved below searching my seat number. First row…not found. Second row…not found. Heartbeat increased to its peak level. Eyes scrolled over other rows and then finally on the seventh row, third number it said, “71049”. I couldn’t believe and checked it twice and then called my friend to confirm and “Thank god” my heart said at once. As even with lot of preparations made for exam, I had committed lot of mistakes in paper. I surely felt that my luck factor has somehow helped me out to get into the list. As thanksgiving was done, I jumped off the bed and called dad and mum with happiness. Finally I did it. I am cleared. I am passed.

 

1/4th of my journey to be a professional was cleared. Along with me, indeed my entire friends got cleared and many of my mates. All once again were happy and celebrated their victory by sharing it with others. We stayed supporting with the ones who had just missed to appear in the list and encouraged them to get it done in the next.

 

This way a level ended and we were moved on to the next level in the game of life. Again the same sequence was ready to welcome us. But this time we knew the game and the level of difficulty, so we were prepared mentally to face off each situation coming along the way. This time it’s just a faceoff with life and its challenges.

 

Let it be darkened around,

I will burn to lit up,

Rocks to block the path I walk,

I will learn to fly up.

Now no fear can engulf me,

Since all got lost with time,

Now no stress can bother me,

Facing life with smile is no crime.

 justz 059

categorized, Daily thoughts

My daily thought -(8)


       It’s a fact believe it or not, when you try to to keep yourself happy, you’ll see that on the way you’ll get many reasons to smile.
Our happiness and our contentment,  totally depends on only us.
A small child say, “Mamma, I don’t wanna play with this stupid toy”
Than taking the child in arms, mom asks,
“Why child whats the matter?”
He says politely, ” Because it laughs at me each time I switch on this button.”
She smiles and explains,
“Life is tough. There are things like your toy which are made to make you smile when your really sad and depressed.  Same like that even there are people around, who are your companions and mates. You’ll find them always trying to mingle along with you. Just to make you grow. They will smile at the beginning along with you but when you turn out to be sad or shelled. They may even laugh at your back. This is the way they are teaching you to make friends who either laugh at you on your face rather than the one’s who laugh at the back. This toy was gifted by your dad before he passed away. He had told me this will guide my son to fight amongst the growing world. He had told me to explain you this that each time it laughs at you, it proves your one step ahead among all. So from today whenever it laughs, just smile him back and always look ahead.”
       The boy looking at her mom, holds the toy, smiles at it and presses the button again to feel the pleasure and contentment of rising higher.
       Nature is strange, filled with negative and positive vibrant. It’s upto us how we assume the things and nature around us.

Today’s thoughts….,
      “So next time when life pusses you down, just smile at it and feel the sense of success and satisfy with the situation.”

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categorized, HINDI POEMS, POEMS

Khudko dhund rahi hu kahi…


Kabhi hawao ke jhoko mein,

Kabhi barish ke bundo mein,

Kabhi likhe hue panno mein,

Kabhi yaado ke kahaniyon mein,

Khudko dhund rahi hu kahi,

Jaane main kaha kho gayi…?

youandmepic

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jo lehrati thi harpal, Ankahi galiyo mein.

Jo rehte thi logo ke dilo ki duniya mein,

Muskurane se jiske khushiyaan chajati thi,

Khudko dhud rahe hu wahi, Ruke hue lamhoo mein.

Jane kis pal mein miljau, Gale se khudo main apne lagau.

youandmepic

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ankhe har raste par ghumke aate hai,

Jane kis gali mein miljau, Wahi talashte hai,

Phulo ke baago mein shayad kissi ne dekha hai mujhe,

Jane kaise titli thi, na jane kaha udd chali?

Jharne ke niche, Baitha main karti thi,

Shayad unke jhoko mein kahi main beh to nai gayi?

Khudko dhund rahi hu kahi,

Jane kaha main kho gayi?

youandmepic

categorized, LOVE, POEMS

I will have to end it.


I will have to end it,
The demolding pain in me.
The trembling fear in me.
The darkness encoded in me.
The spirit dead in me.

I will have to end it,
Past thoughts,
Tears drops,
Betrayal emotions,
Fake devotions.

I will have to end it,
The silence,
The stillness,
The quietness,
The dullness,
The shattering thoughts within.

I will have to end it,
To grow,
To strengthen my soul,
To live fearlessly,
To achieve,
To live life more.

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categorized, Daily thoughts

My daily thought – (4)


Got up with a ring on my cell, thought as it was he calling. But naah.!!! It’s just my alarm clock set up in the phone ringing. I scrolled it to snooz and than grabed the bedsheet for dozing off again. I voice again and again calling me and I struggling with my pillow covering my face in order to cover my ears so I can ignore it. But here she came uncovering me and my sleep.

She was holding few piles of red books.
And I realised that they are my anatomy books, we had to complete them studing.
After few minutes, I was off concentrating and had done basically a lot with so little time.

Then the afternoon came with a flash and made me sleep again. And yes, I slept from 4pm till the rising of moon. By 9pm I got up with lot off struggle again made by her.
It was time for dinner.  And then 9.30 our special episode.

By ten we were in, in my room. She felt asleep as she hadn’t slept and kept studing whole afternoon. Tried to make myself understand to sit and complete the remaining.

But laziness prevailing me from to do it now and ordering me to doze off again.
And you’ll will not believe I even did. Thats why yesterday night there was nor any post nor did I completed my notes.

So today’s thought….
” Be firm and with your positive attitude kill the coming laziness, before it attacks you and your totally into it wasting your time.”

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categorized, PHOTOGRAPHY..., POEMS

Periwinkle.


Flouting in the air,
Here is the small flora,
Dancing with the wind,
In the grasses adora.

Tiny petels pinkishly,
Tied with a bud in cones,
Here comes a cold breeze,
And sudden closure it shows.

With the shades of white,
Its capturing my sight,
In the presence of light,
Its feeling shy looking at the kite.

With little eyes,
It’s sencing its head high,
Rooted in the mud,
She knows a moment she will die.

Leaving the fear behind,
Hoping to live today,
She sings the songs of smiles,
Standing there she is crossing miles.

image

categorized, Daily thoughts

My daily thought – (2)


From evening walk I was returing back to hostel, with few packages of daily goods of utility. The serene has turned cloudy as its a weather of rain. I stepped in my room and emptied the packets in the in the container of snacks. And then my eyes went on the box of chocolates my roommate had purchased for gifting her dear mate. The way she asked me to help her in wrapping the sweets, I instantly took the red gelatine paper from the drawer. Which I had once brought for myself to get used later.
Within that moment, my thought lost its control and wandering in past it walked away soon. There was no time to stop my self feom remembering him at once. And the memoriea sailed the oceans of time.
Heart became num and I wanted him here. As it was not possible I tried to get normal and ran from my emotions that has reach the edge of my eyes.
I saw her deliberately decorating.
I remembered my days when it was done so heartedly. I was over filled from my emotions within. And realised it’s not easy move ahead in life. Unless you except it and smile at it and give yourself sometime to be in it.

Today’s thoughts.,
“However hard you try to not remember your past moments, it will arise the very instant you resemble anything related.”

categorized, FRIENDS, LOVE, POEMS

” The Gaps “


Few distance apart,
Few spaces i n b e t w ee n,
Few steps → ahead,
The pearl of dreams are seen.

“Gaps” acts like a divider,
If properly placed….
It can build up meanings to words.
If placed at distances….
It turns out to be meaningless.

In relationships, 
Gaps plays a dual role.
If maintained properly….
It ends up building the relation’s strong.
If they are increased….
It keeps us left out with empty souls.

Separated with few gaps,
Don’t let them increase the laps.
Walk a few step ahead,
To concur the spiritual desires.
Neglecting the grudges amongst,
To acquire the peaceful entire.

categorized, LOVE

Valentine special!!!


What does love really mean?

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Wikipedia define Love as an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment

Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —”the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”

I searched and surf all over the available sites. I also goggled it. But I could not get a well setup definition of love.

 

  • For every person, the word “love” defines it accordingly.

This is not a one-line answer, so please allow me some space.
It is also not complete either.
There are many different kinds of love of course.
The love you have for your best friend is supposed to be different from the love you have for your wife.
For this answer, I will focus more on the romantic relationship, because that is where most people are looking for answers.
Unfortunately for people who have not accepted it yet, love is a verb.
It is the hardcore, difficult, loving things you do (patience, kindness, listening, helping, compassion etc. ) for the people around you on a completely unconditional basis.
You practice it at your home, at work, while walking past people in the street.
Love is colorblind.
Love is not about buying someone flowers, nice presents or charming him or her.
That is courtship.
Now, focusing on a relationship (with your wife for example), you should swallow the fact that a relationship comes from one side only.
YOU are responsible for practicing love without expecting anything back.
Accept that you cannot change the other one, only yourself.
In cultures where people marry to others chosen by their parents (and I am specifically referring to those cultures where a woman is not seen as a possession, a workhorse, an attachment for the husbands ego, or whatever), these principles are practiced and those marriages work.
In our culture where we have the luxury of choosing our own life partners, you do have a choice to marry someone who practices love.
However, if you knew before that you partner is a selfish, irresponsible person and you choose to marry him anyway, you are still responsible to keep on loving him or her until death.
The nice thing is that you have enough time to evaluate your partner open minded after the courtship and in love stages of the relationship are over (That first intense burning, characterized when you meet someone and the sparks fly.
You cannot make a decision of living together forever if you are still in those first stages.
The problem is that most people are so brainwashed by TV, thinking that good sex, money and looks does it all and that there is somehow a way to bypass the hard work of loving.
Most people today are not in touch with themselves any more.
People are empty and confused.
Their personalities are a function of the clothes they wear, the cars they are driving and the houses they are living in.
They think that what they can show to the world, reflects their personality.
They listen to music all day to kill their inner voice.

friends..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For me, love was when

At the age of 8, I saw you, met you…

And the small sweet story began.

We fought, talked and played the day long,

Don’t forget the moment of happiness shared.

At the age of 9, the friendship grew with the days ran…

We used be together and became close friends.

Laughing, fooling, the day passed,

Along with your company I started living my life.

At the age of 10, I felt for you…

So as I came closer with your thoughts.

Going tuition with you and comings back along,

All became a routine as the life moved on.

At the age of 11, we shared a time of enjoyment…

Where everyday’s panipuri would add the taste of joy.

Dairy milk, Kitkat where all shared amongst us,

But even thought the meetha taste never gone.

At the age of 12, many up and downs came…

We almost got separated and departed there and there.

But friendship’s strong bond made us come together again,

Tuition changed but we were still together there.

At the age of 13, we got many friends…

People came, became friends and then went away,

But couldn’t move are friendship by any instance.

Our friendship grew with each and every thing happened.

At the age of 14, we again went far…

A year later the friendship had taken its new turn.

From buddies, I felt more for you,

And when you realized the same thing, our love story begins.

At the age of 15, things all together changed…

We got separated from friends as we spent time together alone.

The morning cycling and then evening ride,

With the sun’s rise and fall, our heart turned solitary along.

At the age of 16, love grew deep…

With the trust and care you showed, all in all changed me.

I became all yours and you grew in me,

With little bit of fights, our love broke a little margin.

At the age of 17, you showed me the world…

New places and cities, all showed me a new earth.

Beaches, parks, sunsets and sunrise

Malls, monuments all you showed with your hands in mine.

At the age of 18, many new things turned….

New thoughts and minds, with new people all around.

Arguments and anger and misunderstanding continued,

Which used to end before had taken roots now.

And slowly even with lots of tries,

The pages of love came to an end…

and I learn that nothing in this world is constant except our love.

love is never fake or it hurts us but its the changed lover and his/her act hurts us!!!

I still believe in love and still madly in love with him.

hope even he realize it soon…

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  • Things were changed and I realized the fact,

the cruel truth of “love”

“Love the person without limits but the same person will always keep you to his limits as he wants.”

“Make the person you love, your heartbeats but the same person will try to be your breath and will control you accordingly”

“When he is happy, he will provide you with wings to fly but when he is upset, he will tie your wing with his words.”

“He/she really loves you, its not false. But the rules of his/her life will always come first…..even before your deepest love”

“Thousands of times he/she’ll tell you ‘I love you’, but the time you really want, he/she will not understand”

‘Life is happiest when he/she is with you but it will not take a second to change if you hurt him/her even at once.”

 

animelove_1oez9c3y

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A kind request to all on this valentine’s day!!!

People have forgotten the meaning of love,

It’s just become a word used in order to make one fashionable and popular.

Love has being declined and hidden in all walk of the present life, from the past true love.

People’s lust- they call it love.

People’s attraction- they call it love.

People’s possessiveness- they call it love.

If any person is making him or her smile- they call it love.

But what does love actually mean?????????

Do you all know and can tell me???????

Where is the care for each others feelings?

Where is the respect for one’s thought?

Where is the sweet and naughty stuff people used to do to make their loved one smile?

People are just getting immersed in this fake world, just getting lost in the unreal life around…

Even if one try to be actual and real to her or him self, he will never will as the people and society will never let that happen…

Why do people just don’t act real to at least themselves….?

Guys please just get real and what you are actually, never try to change.

Not for anyone you love or care for…that will be termed as Actual love– love truly done from heart.

Don’t let the word “love” be ashamed in its own way!!!

Just open up and love your loved one as you are and let them feel that they are special.

Just think about it, you can save many loved relationship on this Valentine’s Day…

 

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Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you…

“Spread love and be loved”