Artery, articles, categorized, FRIENDS, LIFE, LOVE, PARENTS, PHOTOGRAPHY..., short stories, THOUGHTS

Note to self.


Will people understand me? My words? Will they read me? What will they feel? Relatable or unrealistic? These questions cross my mind every now and then.

I don’t want to live the kind of life, everyone around me are living. Scheduled, timed and monotonic to be glued to specific boundaries and limits. I don’t want to be those kind, maybe I can’t be. I wasn’t born to be like them. I feel like the wind, the air, omnipresent but not still. I wanna be around everything, learn everything and anything new. I wanna explore. I wanna know. I want to learn, be inspired. I also want to give, to teach, to guide, to inspire.

I can’t be stuck between the real me and the survival me, who is just being another human who is competing with everyone in this crazy world and society. I don’t want to prove or show anyone, anything. It never bothered me. Yeah, to my parents? Yes. Always.it always did and does…

But until when??? 

If I wanna live real, I need to speak. If I want an extraordinarily life, I should be ready to face the end number of difficulty and downs. If I want to fly, I should not fear of falling from high. I need to gear up my everything, my every cell together and energize.

One of the prove of my courageous decision was to get ink on my skin for lifetime. That was my decision without fearing for the consequences from my parents. I was brave enough that time, I guess. When I was younger, I feel I was more liberal and stronger than now. I fell in love without fearing of heartbreaks and disappointments. Whereas nowadays, a pinch of fear shadows around me all the time.

My voice needs to be clear again. My thoughts needs to nenefree free. My words need to be beautiful and real. So again, my heart could understand what it wants. I need to fall in love again… I need to live. I need to be free…even from myself, I feel.

Finding the real me
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categorized, LIFE, LOVE, PHOTOGRAPHY..., POEMS, Poetry

Emptiness…


Sitting in the park,
I wondered if you miss me like I do.
Do you ever think about me now?
Or I Don’t exist for you???
Gazing at the empty place,
I saw you and me sitting together,
Arms around and your eyes on me,
I was happily smiling to be sitting there.
In a blink I realized it was a faded dream,
My heart arched and shrink with the thought,
“That the days are gone for You and Me.” And I wanted scream.
Missing you still at the empty space,
Missing your arms around me,
We could have been the same crazy couple,
But you left me with only your dreams to cuddle.

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Emptiness

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articles, categorized, Daily thoughts, LIFE, LOVE, PARENTS, short stories, THOUGHTS

I don’t wanna regret later in 40s


So, today I met a lady from my society, she is in her 40s I guess because she looks quit young than her real age. I don’t know from where our conversation turned up to the topics I so much wanted guidance. She was like my answers to all my questions, which had been built up since years.
She said, “Do what you feel is right not what society made you believe is right.”
I guess this is how we all are living in with our lifes. We think about the society, we think what they what us to think. We fail to try anything society disagrees to accept. We always built a shell around us, where from out we are what they want us to be and from inside screaming to get explored.

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She shared, “I am in my 40s say, and I wonder what have I done in my life rather than just sacrificing things first for my parents and infill now for my family and children. If only I would have loved the person loved me in my teen days, may be life would have been beautiful not just livable. If only I would have accepted to marry with an intercaste guy, who was well settled and lively, I would have travelled abroad and lived my dreams to roam around the world and different places now. It’s not that I am not happy with my life now but the past came down haunting me now. I wanna live young. I wanna go beaches walking hand in hand with the person I love to be with, I wanna go for a long walk during the sunset admiring the shades of setting lights, I wanna smile, laugh and live…”
She felt happy with her realistic approach but somewhere she was disappointed for not doing things her heart had always wished for. She was at peace but was certainly searching for something to make her life loving again.
She corrected me by saying, “People are not really bothered, what you are doing with your life, they will say and than forget, so stop thinking what others will think, even your parents. Do what your heart says.” When I said, I always refuse to do stuffs I like only because my parents disagree to it.
She was cool with her age.
She was experienced.
She was delighted.
She was different.
She was young.

Talking with her for an hour, made me realize many things, made me clear in my thoughts, she made me think again over the decision I had made, I wanted to release my heart which was set in cage since long. I wanted to be loved and I wanted to love again. I wanted to try again. I wanted to express. I wanted to be real. I wanted to be me. I wanted him again.

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I don’t wanna regret in my 40s like her. I don’t wanna think sitting like her when I get older after few years.
I want to express my overload emotions, so I don’t have to get disappointed later.
I don’t wanna be sad.
Last but not the least, she said, “Always listen to your heart, it may be in your left but it is always right.”
I need you to contact me soon, because if you feel the same, I need you to tell me again and for the last time and forever…
I need you to be back if you feel the same for me as I do.
I need you to tell me that you love me still as I loved you forever…
I hope even you’ll realize that you need to express what you want. I did my part… Waiting for your.!!!

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Hope even you’ll do the same guyz, my readers.
Love yourself,
Love your life,
Love what you want and decide.